I'm not very good at updating this. Mostly it's because I don't have much down time. The rest is because I don't really have anything interesting to write about.
Well, I was thinking about my marriage and decided I should write about that! I don't feel married. I don't know that anyone actually feels "married." I've never asked anyone. I guess it's because we've been together for over 5 years and we've lived together for a lot of that time. Nothing new came with being married other than taking his name and the comfort of knowing we'll be together "until death parts us." (Assuming all goes well haha)
We have an interesting relationship. He works all day 5 days a week and I'm home with Peyton. I cook and clean and take care of everyone and Steven brings home the bacon. He leaves for work 45 minutes after he gets up. That's about an hour after Peyton and I get up in the morning. He gets home from work about an hour before dinner and two hours before Peyton goes to bed. Once she's asleep, he's on the computer and I'm on my phone playing games and the tv is on. We don't talk much. I don't really have much to talk about. My day consists of Mickey Mouse, exercising, cleaning, diapers, Baby Einsteins, silly songs and pretend picnics. He doesn't have much to talk about other than what goes on at work.
We try to make small talk about the goings on in the world, (read- what pops up on Yahoo! News or Facebook) but those conversations don't last long. Part of my problem is that I don't have an interest in much of what goes on in the world. Politics are SO not my thing. I don't pay enough attention to the news. Most of the things I see are related to pop culture. Even that doesn't interest me much. I'm more interested in articles about healthy foods or baby stuff. I like looking up recipes and crafts. That's what I spend most of my free time doing. When Steven's online, he's reading posts on Reddit or watching two basketball games or playing a computer game or a combination of all three. We usually watch a show or two together on the couch every night.
As boring and sad as this all sounds, it kind of works for us! Or at least it has been. I'm feeling ready to turn off the technology for a little bit. We watch so many shows we can hardly keep up. There are shows on our DVR, shows on NetFlix, shows on his computer and random shows that we watch when we aren't watching shows together. It's a little much. After Peyton goes to bed is OUR time, but we're not spending quality time together.
Having time for intimacy when you have a child is hard enough, but if neither of us is making a real effort it's happening maybe twice a month. I'm proposing (when he gets home) we turn off the tv and the computer for at least 2 hours after Pey's in bed. We can read together or Heaven forbid we actually talk to each other haha! And we both need to try much harder. Most people would probably suggest a night without Peyton. I'll go ahead and stop you right there. It's impossible. I've spoiled her (and I don't regret it!) to the point where I am the only one who can put her to bed and get her back to sleep. Not only that, we would miss her and worry about her too much. We're a happy little tricycle :)
So there's a post! And it's weird and contradictory I'm sure. But ya know? My mom and sister are the only people who read this. So :-P
Nah, I read your blog too! Anyway, I just wanted to say your marriage sounds really, really normal. Actually, I laughed out loud at the whole Steven doing three things on the computer at once (basketball + video game + reading articles), because that's EXACTLY what Jordan does! We also basically just watch shows together, and our conversation isn't exactly stimulating, mostly because our lives are relatively boring. I've been trying to get us to do date night, but that hasn't really worked. I did have one suggestion that works well for us: board games. Now I get it, geeky, but they are really fun! A little friendly competition is great for keeping things dynamic, and you know, make-up sex is fun. :) JK (mostly). Anywho, love you!
ReplyDeleteI forgot that you read this haha! I'm glad to have another stay at home mom perspective! Thanks :)
DeleteWe should take a vacation and meet in the middle someday. Our babies can play now and our husbands can talk about basketball.
Love you too!!
that's been nate and i since may 21, 2009. but much like Amanda, we escape with board games. on sunday i pulled out a deck of cards and we played Egyptian Rat Screw for about 2 hours. it was the most fun i've had in a REALLY long time. we also play Uno...and if we have time we play strip Uno. That one isn't as fun because i get too caught up in the competition that i forget we're trying to be sexy LOL. One time we even busted out Candy Land. Not as much fun when you're over the age of 10. :)
ReplyDeleteYep, that's "married." We work opposite shifts, so he's asleep when I go to work, and he usually leaves shortly after I get home. I'm crashed out by the time he rolls in. We see each other more on the weekends, but we're usually either running errands, or doing our own thing. He has his interests, I have mine, we have a couple in common, but not enough that it provides daily interaction.
ReplyDeleteWhen you guys were little, your dad and I used to play video games together after you went to bed. We liked the old text adventures, and the original "Zelda"-type games when they first came out. Dad operated the controls, and I kept track of maps and where things were, and we had a blast!
Can't really play anything but basic Wii games with Steve, and he gets bored with it rather quickly. We usually just play with the cats together. I know that sounds lame, but it's actually a lot of fun...our version of having kids, I guess.
If it works for you guys, then don't try to make it something it's not, just because you think it's what you "should" do. Be happy, no matter what others might say or think!
--Mom